Month November 2015

The true cost of couples/relationship therapy

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On average 120,000 couples divorce, in the UK every year. This would be no surprise to most, but what if those couples had gone to couples therapy, before they started legal proceedings?

MAN AND WOMAN ON COUCH, OPPOSITE SIDES

MAN AND WOMAN ON COUCH, OPPOSITE SIDES

The financial cost of divorce and the price of couple’s therapy

 

The cost of the court alone is £340, with legal fees averaging around £1200, and that’s if there’s no property involved. This figure can escalate if the couple, argue about parental access and who sees the children when and where, and who owns what as far as property is concerned.

On average couples therapy will cost £60 a session. You may say this is expensive, but looking at the cost above, one would say that it’s worth a try before you and your husband or wife embark on divorce proceedings.

Often couples do not have what is called irreconcilable differences, just a difference of opinion. This easy to forget when lawyers get involved that the couple once loved each other, and thus could fall in love again, with each other.

Simply talking to someone about your relationship.

Is often found in couple’s therapy that simply talking to someone that’s not emotionally involved and is non-judgemental, helps the couple to think clearly about their relationship, and map out a new direction going forward. Furthermore, if the couple and up splitting often, therapy allows for all the unfinished business, the couple may have, to be aired.

Of course, if there are children involved, then there’s the emotional wrench of one of the partners leaving the family home, it would be unjust and unfair to put a value on this, but the emotional pain alone, could be avoided, may be, if the couple came to couples therapy.

 

Returning back to the financial cost, simply doing the maths, if the couple were to have six sessions of couple therapy at £60 per session that’s £360, if a couple get divorced the court fees alone are £340. In the cold light of day, it is surely worth giving couples

therapy a chance.

How long does couples therapy take?

It may be that the couple stay longer, in therapy than six sessions, anecdotal evidence suggests that couples that do have more than six sessions, have a relationship that can be repaired, and differences that can be overcome.

How do I get couples therapy?

If after reading this you feel that you and your partner may need couples therapy, then there are many online directories of local councillors, who can offer couples therapy.

 

 

Why we need sleep, and the science behind not sleeping.

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why we need a good light sleep_eleos blogOne of the natural functions of us as humans, which has puzzled scientists for thousands of years, is why do we sleep? Sleep is an incredibly important part of our biology, and its function is beginning to be revealed by neuroscientists fundamentally, in the past, there are 3 different consensus regarding why we sleep and its function, these are.

  • Sleep helps us restore mental energy

    : This is the idea that we have to restore our energy back to levels which will enable us to function mentally. Recent discoveries are shown this hypothesis to have some validity, in as much as, there are certain genes within the brain that switch on and off neural pathways, when we are asleep. This idea is nothing new in fact it was quoted by Greek philosopher Aristotle.

  • Sleep helps us conserve energy: the idea that we need to recharge our batteries so that we can work the next day. This is doubtful, as there is no real evidence to say that we are saving energy when we are sleeping. In fact, we save about a hundred calories when we are asleep. So there is very little evidence to support this hypothesis.
  • Sleep helps mental health: this hypothesis says that we need to sleep to help us process memories, and makes sense of our world as a whole. There is some validity in this hypothesis. As certain areas of the brain are switched on only during sleep. There is an exciting by-product of this  brain activity, in that after a good night’s sleep, we are able to think more creatively. Neuroscientists have found that we have a threefold advantage in thinking creatively, about a problem, when compared to broken or no sleep.

Sleep is an incredibly important function for us as human beings, and its importance is only now being recognised. The idea that sleep is for wimps, as Margaret Thatcher once quoted, is now itself, to be scoffed at.

 

The effects of sleep of overstretched shift workers

In the nineteen fifties the average person got, on average, 8 hours sleep a night. Today, this is now greatly reduced with the average being one half to 2 hours sleep less. The typical teenager needs around 9 hours sleep a night, unfortunately this demographic falls into one of the worst offenders, for lack of sleep, with the average teenager getting around 5 hours a night, that’s 4 hours less sleep than they need.

Shift workers, are on average, the most sleep deprived people, as when they feel tired, after working a night shift their clock body wants them to wake up. Therefore, the quality of sleep they get is generally very poor.

The effects of lack of sleep have been well documented, particularly in the US, where it is well documented that on average hundred thousand people, each year fall asleep that the wheel of their car.

One of the contributing factors in two of the worst accidents in human history, the challenger space shuttle and the nuclear reactor incident at Chernobyl was sleep deprived shift workers, making catastrophic mistakes.

Physical effects of sleep deprivation; how lack of sleep can really affect your health.

From above information we can work out that most people do not get enough sleep. One of the  ways that we keep ourselves awake, when we should be sleeping is  by using stimulants, the most common being caffeine. Often caffeine is added to with another stimulant nicotine. After staying up all night, it’s then hard to get to sleep because the caffeine in our system is making us stay awake, often people will resort to a sedative the most common being alcohol. This is okay short-term but long-term it can have devastating effects. Unfortunately, alcohol only mimics sleep by sedating the user, it actually harms some of the neuro processing which happens during sleep.

Another factor for loss of sleep is weight gain, if you sleep 5 hours a night, then you have a 50% likelihood that you would become obese. One of the side effects of sleep loss is the increase in the hormone, leptin ghrelin: the hormone that makes you hungry, or increases appetite, this hormone actually seeks out carbohydrates in the form of sugars, so thus increases your likelihood of eating sweet.

Another factor, from lack of sleep, is stress, and with it loss of memory, also suppressed immunity due to your body being stressed.

Another factor for sleeplessness is increase glucose in your blood, after a time you could become glucose intolerant, and thus there is a propensity for diabetes.

There are certainly some studies that show that nightshift workers have an increased cancer risk, due to suppressed immune systems.

Another by-product of sleeplessness is stress on your cardiovascular system, thus increasing your chances of cardiovascular problems.

Overall, poor sleep is bad for you, not only short-term but long-term. What some people don’t realise is it’s not just impaired memory and functioning, but long-term health problems, such as mentioned above.