As we move towards at Christmas 2014 it would be a good time to look at what happens when we are hot housed with relations over Christmas. The fact is that most was the lead busy lives and Christmas can be a time for catching up with friends and family, but can also be a time of great stress. Not only is there more financial stress, but there is the annual problem of what to say to Auntie Doris, who seems to have an opinion about everything.
I won’t be going into how to save money, but rather how to save relationships. In the last quarter of 2013 there was a 15.5% rise in the victim’s suffering domestic violence, a comment made by police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, who said that Christmas could be linked with an increasing domestic violence: in Christmas 2013 violent injury as a whole raised by 5.4% compared with the same quarter in 2012. Another comment made by Sandra Horley, Chief Executive domestic violence charity Refuge said that domestic violence has risen because of secrecy and no one knows the true extent he just how much domestic violence takes place in the UK.
- Try using “I” statements : when you become upset. Owning what you’re feeling is a powerful way of transmitting to others just how upset you are. Instead of using “accusation of statements” such as “you should not of done that”, “You make me feel” owning your own feelings with “ I” statements can help others understand just how upset you actually are.
- Changing the environment: if you always have Christmas lunch in the same environment, such as your family, home, and it always seems to be a row over lunch, changing the environment can sometimes help to calm tempers: The thought here is we don’t how environment were on their best behaviour.
- Watch how much you drink: mixing alcohol with frustration will often lead to angry outbursts. Alcohol is depressants, therefore it suppresses self-regulation. Saying how you feel under the influence is sometimes a recipe for disaster. So maybe try things like mocktales (nonalcoholic cocktails) to help lower the alcohol consumed: There’s a link to this at the bottom of the page.
- Remove yourself in a when things get tough: removing yourself from a difficult situation is often the best way of suppressing your frustration. Taking a walk before Christmas lunch is often the best way of increasing your endorphins, this will have a calming effect on your body.
- Don’t overspend: overspending can cause all sorts of problems, not only at Christmas. Sticking to a budget will often help your frustration levels long-term, also stop those nasty credit card bills in the New Year.