What are young people saying when they are angry?

It would be right to say that most adults have angry feelings, theseangry teenager_Eleos counselling are normal reactions to when things which frustrate us when things go wrong, or people feel an injustice has been done to them. Children, young people express these feelings in different ways.

In a young toddler or young child, frustration and anger are often expressed by having tantrums, when they don’t get what they feel they should or get their own way. They can hit, scream, throw things and often destroy possessions. This is their way of saying they don’t like the emotions or feelings they have, and struggling to express these words. Consequently, their behaviours express their anger and frustration.

In teenagers anger can be expressed by being defiant and refusing to keep house rules. A teenager will often push against boundaries to increase their own independence or sense of self.

Young adults and children can often convey their anger by shouting, refusing to do what they’re told. Furthermore,  Parents often witnessed or objects of aggression when a child starts to hit them or hurt them, often using spiteful words, which cuts to the quick.

Young person or child could have many reasons for express their anger inappropriately, including the following:

  • Struggling to come to terms with hormonal changes during puberty.
  • Divorce or separation in parents.
  • Sibling rivalry or jealousy towards a brother or sister.
  • The feeling of rejection by parents or close family.
  • Witnessing domestic violence.
  • Being accepted into a friendship group or having problems, relationship   difficulties within that group.
  • Feeling powerless through being bullied or hurt.
  • Struggling to cope with schoolwork, academic workload.
  • Having to be a carer will look after parents or relatives.
  • Break-up of  a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend

Anger is a normal part of being human, but for some children, or young adult’s  anger is often expressed inappropriately.  Parents, grandparents, or adults close to the  young people, young adults, often feel walking on egg shells and will often placate behaviours, rather than deal with them head-on.

At Eleos counselling we are developing an anger management program for young people. Unlike most programs Eleos counselling program is educational and fun for the young person to engage with. This course will be running groups, and rather seeing this as a punishment the young person, see this as an opportunity to find out how to express his or her anger. If you would like to know more, please go is the homepage and from there you will find our contact details, or click the link below and you will be taken to the Eleos counselling website.

Eleos  Counselling Link



The real cost of unwinding with a drink

A recent article published by the office for National statistics, highlighted that home drinking has had an increasing effect on peoplemiddle class_drinking coming into drug and alcohol agencies and the NHS, looking for rehab.  A startling fact is that this is mostly in middle class, middle-aged people living in the southeast of England.  The article highlights that a new divide between heavy drinkers and very heavy drinkers classifying someone is a very heavy drinker as someone who drinks 12 units of alcohol, at least once in the last week.

Certainly from my own experience, most people don’t know what 12 you units of alcohol actually looks like, bearing in mind the Department of Health estimates that harmful will use of alcohol costs the NHS in Britain around £3.5 billion a year and 8% of all hospital admissions involve alcohol-related conditions.  Furthermore, drinking can lead to over 40 medical conditions, including cancer, hypertension, liver disease and heart disease.  Maybe it could be that bottles are labelled up with the amount of alcoholic units they contain.  Another startling fact that has come to light for my own practice, that people often say they’ve only drunk a glass or two , when certain classes can hold up to half a bottle of wine.

Reducing the harm caused by alcohol has been a priority for the government, since elected.  Excessive consumption of alcohol is a major preventable cause of premature mortality, with alcohol-related deaths accounted for 5.3 of all deaths in England and Wales since records last taken, in the year 2005.  Yet again, my own experience has found a target driven, cost-effective, results based drive towards rehabilitation of people, who found themselves in trouble with alcohol.  It is not uncommon to find that some agencies are only offering six sessions of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) as a way of relapse prevention; statistically it is thought that the therapeutic alliance, fundamentally the trust you put in your therapist, is only established after four sessions.

Although figures of people drinking are on the decline in the general population, there has been an increase in people binge drinking, in the under population 16 to 24.


Is it time for a radical rethink, on NHS psychological treatments, waiting Lists?

depression_eleiocounsellingThis morning’s radio fours woman’s hour interviewed the health minister regarding waiting lists for psychological treatments, on the NHS. The Minister promised an improvement, should the current government be re-elected. The Minister responded to claims that there is no choice in psychological treatments and that cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT ) is often offered as the only treatment.

The Minister promised that other treatments such as psychodynamic, person centered, and solution focused therapy would be offered as a choice should the present government be re-elected.

Unfortunately, people are generally waiting up to 12 weeks to see the therapist, and then offered anything from 2 to 6 sessions. Research has shown, that it takes up to 4 sessions for a client/patient  to build up a good enough relationship with the therapist.

A spokesman for the Tavistock Institute in London quoted as saying that it takes up to 12 to 20 sessions for a potential client have good enough therapy.

The longer people wait for therapy more risk they are, often people will find a private therapist, which can see them right away. Of course, with private therapy, there’s no limit to the amount of sessions, one can have, if one can afford it.

May be if the NHS were to outsource psychological treatments to the private sector and individual therapists, in private practice, using the vast amount of experienced therapists in private practice, perhaps even local health providers could pay for a proportion of the treatment? Also, the patient or client is able to make an informed choice as to what type of therapy, he or she  has. A point raised in the programme is that, currently, only 10% of therapy is offered on the IAPT scheme are non-CBT.


At Eleos counselling, we offer a reduced rate counselling. The clients who are on family tax credit, income support can access psychological treatments at a reduced rate We feel, that this is the way of plugging the gap between the private sector and the therapies that are available, under the NHS scheme. One of the ethos  of Eleos counselling is to offer affordable therapy for anyone who needs it.



Finance clerk runs up £6 million debt, using online gambling.

Online-Betting (1)

This week the media highlighted the case of the Finance clerk who gambled more than £6 million on online bingo. Jacqueline Balaam was winning  up to £15,000 of time, but continued to gamble, if even after winning these large amounts.

This exemplifies just how addictive online gambling can be. Unfortunately, one of the aspects of online gambling perception is that it’s not real money, but it is.

With the rise of advertising for online gambling, offering enticing incentive to gamblers. This will often hook somebody who is susceptible to a gambling addiction. There are often three phases of gambling addiction. At first there will be the winning phase, little win’s, which will you force, a sense of  security that you have beaten the system somehow, or you are lucky. Then there is the losing phase, which for some, is enough to stop gambling altogether, but unfortunately, for some people, there’s another phase often called the catch up in which you are trying to make good your losses. The full detail of Ms Balaam, gambling, is not known, but there is a good possibility. This is exactly what Ms Balaam, was doing.

People with are constantly bombarded now with advertising on television, online and social media, enticing us to gamble. Unfortunately, the excitement of gambling can be as addictive as any drug. The primal areas of the brain called the limbic system appears to play a major role in pleasure sensations of addiction, unfortunately, one of the downsized to modern technology is we have more access to things which can possibly be addicted, such as online gambling.

A generation or two ago, one would have to go to the bookies, a casino, or join a card school. Fundamentally, today one can gamble away as much as Ms Balaam simply by downloads an app onto a mobile device and enter a credit card number.

if you feel you may have a gambling problem and  would like to talk to someone , Eleos counselling can help . Just click the link below.





Loneliness in the UK

loneliness_eloscounselingA subject often not talked about has suddenly become popular “loneliness”. A recent report from the National office of statistic claims that Great Britain is the loneliest place in Europe. Statistically, the British, are less likely to bond and make lasting friendships or even know their neighbors.

It’s often quoted that loneliness is an issue for the old, but actually is becoming more and  more an issue for the young, married up with statistics say that the biggest killer of men between the ages of 18 and 34 suicides, the evidence speaks for itself. A statistic from the charity the Samaritans, quoted that one in four men who call the service mentioned loneliness and isolation.

A recent article on radio 4 stated that objects which are plugged into the Internet becoming increasingly popular, stay connected to the cyber world is becoming a paramount importance. This says a lot, that we want to communicate with others however impersonal.

What can the young do to fight loneliness, of the social media can be a boon or very problematic inasmuch that people don’t really say what’s on their mind but rather skirt round the peripheral issues. Maybe one of the services that can be offered through cyberspace is online chat rooms which effectively become group therapy; of course, how one maintains confidentiality and security would have to be looked into what the problem is not insurmountable.


Eleos Counseling would be very interested in hearing comments regarding online therapy, or online forums which help support people who are lonely. Please feel free to comment.


New figures prompt a request for a new look at rehab.

cocaine use_Eleos counselling


New figures released under Freedom of information act, Highlight that there that there is an inadequate amount of residential rehabilitation for drug users. This is added to the political debate on how people with drug habits are to be treated.

The ongoing debate ,by some experts, suggests that community-based rehabilitation is more successful and less costly than so-called L ive in  treatments. Furthermore, Figures released suggest that there are 138 addicts for every residential rehabilitation placement in England. The drastic lacking places this  is possibly due to lack of funding, as local government finances are cut back as part of austerity measures in general.

Taking somebody out of their normal circle of friends and put them into a rehabilitation center can sometimes be good for the addict, in general. They have time to reconsider their lives and have no network where they can acquire their drug choice. But, one would argue they have to live in the real world. Returning back to their home town, can start an addiction back up after being clean for several months in the rehab unit.

Perhaps one thing to consider is the amount of support drug users get. This varies from excellent to inadequate, depending on where you live. If the government goes for a community-based rehabilitation programme. One would suggest that they have to be some form of psychological support put in place as well as chemical support.

Psychotherapy has often played second fiddle, with drug and alcohol agencies, adding it as an afterthought rather than necessity. Using trained councillors/psychotherapy to help people through the drug addiction can have a marked effect on long-term prognosis.

Looking at why a person took to drugs in the first place can be very painful for them, but very useful in finding their triggers, and also they come to terms with old hurts, which may have caused them to use in the first place.

An interesting comment was made in the report. Inasmuch as, the UK is now deemed the addicted man of Europe, proportionally more having more problematic drug users in any country in Europe.

The report also asked for local authorities to adopt new models in drug and alcohol treatment. Perhaps one of these could be a home-based abstinence programme supplemented with psychotherapy at a local center?