Just Look Up

eleos-counselling_just-look-upDuring the summer I was to see something that set me thinking. I was in a large shopping mall; there was a seated area where I was waiting for my wife. A young woman was breastfeeding her baby, under a muslin cloth; nothing wrong with that quite natural but what she was doing while she was breastfeeding her child was looking at her mobile phone.

As someone who teaches anger management, I have learned through my research one of the fundamental ways that we assess threats by looking into the face of our would-be aggressor. We evaluate threats in less than the blinking of an eye quickly making the decision, whether a person is a threat or not a threat.  This response, according to research has found that in early childhood, looking at or mother’s eyes. I wondered, what the young lady breastfeeding her child was teaching her child, what internal message had this baby received from its mother, as she is updating  her Facebook status or text a friend. Experts say

I was recently touched by a post, ironically, on Facebook by a gentleman called Gary Turk, you may have seen this. Turk asked us to look up, from a mobile device, that life can be going by whilst we engage in social media. I urge you to watch this and paradoxically life is as we frantically engage in social media.

I wonder what mixed messages the baby in the arms, of the young lady, engaged with social media, had got from  its mother: who  was too busy engaging social media or texting  even to look at her child  breastfeeding, the most naturally bonding thing a mother can do for its child.



Survey Reveals Families do not spend enough time together

A recent survey conducted, suggests that In the UK, the average family spends only half an hour of quality time together, during the week. On the weekend, the time spent together goes up to about an hour and 20 minutes, on both Saturday and Sunday.

family life

Family life

56% of the people surveyed said that they book a holiday for no other reason than to spend time with their family.

The reason we are not spending so much time together various from “the kids are at an age that they don’t really want to spend time with us.” To working anti social hours” what this means is that families are not contacting. Humans, by our very nature are gregarious, we long for social connection. The rise of Facebook and other social media’s would tell us people want to talk and be listened to by other’s chance to tell their story. Obviously lots of things can distract us our I Pad’s, our emails, parents working and after-school activities. The downside of this is that many families struggle to connect and spend time together and enjoy each other.

With reference to the survey, 50% of those asked admitted the only real time they spend together is when they’re away on holiday.  Often holidays can be a time of great stress for people and it could be that we don’t see ourselves in the best light, particularly when we have to deal with airport queues, et cetera.

Could it be that we switch off the television, and simply eat together as often these times when families feel really connected to each other.


If your family is going through a crisis, then Eleos counselling can help, you can book an assessment appointment by clicking the link below

Eleos web site