The 3 T’s will help you become less of a hammer

 eleos counselling blog__three T'S_PIXABAY


Back when I was an engineer, we used to have an expression:  When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem is a nail.


If you have a strong personality, one could say you have a hammer approach. You may approach every problem head-on: Like a hammer, when others may take a more considered or gentle way of approaching delicate situations. If this is your problem then the 3T’s may help you.


Temper: When you are angry, upset, troubled or annoyed, you are more likely to make a big deal out of something that is quite insignificant.  Furthermore, the decibel level is more likely to rise in response. The general rule here when your reaction is worse than the offence, difficulty generally increases. Conversely, when your reaction is less than the action, the offence, usually decreases.


Timing: Just like one would have to act quickly, to get someone to a hospital who was injured or in a life-threatening position, if you don’t apologise, setting things right with someone you may have offended or upset, the relationship can be lost. Just as acting quickly is important when someone is injured it is equally as important when you have emotionally hurt somebody through your own careless act or words. Lady Dorothy Neville once said, “the real art of conversation is not saying the right thing at the right time, but leaving unsaid the wrong thing at a tempting moment”.


The total picture:  A man walked into a chemist, and asked the pharmacist behind the counter do you have anything for a headache. The pharmacist reached across to a shelf took down a packet of dissolvable aspirins, unpacked one, dissolve one of the pills in some water and gave it to the man. The man quickly drank the water with the pill in it and said thank you very much but it’s not me with a headache, it’s my wife, who is Outside in the car. If you’re inclined to jump to conclusions slow yourself down in doing this you’re more likely to get the whole picture

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