Over the last few months the subject keeps emerging for me, the idea of emotional investment. After looking at the Internet, and scanning for ideas. I found that the concept of “emotional investment” seems to be quite ambiguous. So I thought I would write, what I feel emotional investment is. This is not a definitive concept as I’m thinking about this further, the concept seems to grow over the next few months I will be elaborated on this, on this blog.
We don’t have to be related to, or be in love with, but there does have to be some form of relationship or “bond point”, in which you start investing. An example can be a house where you may have memories, good or bad. For instance, Christmases spent together, as a family, where you felt you are happy and safe.
At this point I would like to introduce the concept of “negative and positive emotional investment”. Using the example of the house, having positive and negative emotions attached to a house. For instance, a negative emotional investment, could be, Christmases spent together, where the family did not get on, argued and generally disagreed, where things are said and done, you have had a hard time forgetting. You can see that you have invested some form of emotion into this memory and an anchor point or “bond point” you established with the house. Effectively you can feel emotionally invested in the house, even though it is an object, emotions took place in the house, at a point in time, and thus you have an emotional investment in the house.
Also, there could be a great deal of regret of other emotions attached to emotional investment, such as guilt, shame, longing, regret, and also the idea which Spinelli speak’s of “un- knowing”(Spinelli, 2009); where we regret or mourn the loss of not knowing the possibility of choosing another way: if we think about following a different path, at a key moment in life; If we had chosen another partner, or that job, would life be different.
If we now think of the concept of “emotional investment”, in people. To emotionally invest in someone involves a process, that process can start almost from the minute you meet them. Furthermore, it can have negative or positive emotions attached to it the moment, you start investing. If we think of a lover or romantic relationship, from the moment you start any form of engagement. For instance, even looking at them across a room, you are investing some form of emotion in them. For instance, an openness, and interest in them as a person, all involves emotional investment. Moreover, after they have gone, and you are on your own with your thoughts. You are making even an even bigger investment.
I will be adding to this blog in the next few days and would be interested in your thoughts about emotional investment.
Spinelli, E. (2009). Tales of un-knowing: Eight stories of existential therapy. Ross-on- Wye PCCS Books