Emetophobia: A common phobia, which is often misdiagnosed

eleoscounselling_eating_disorderA recent article in the Independent’s tabloid I highlighted the difficulty people with a phobia Emetophobia (fear of vomiting or being sick) face. This phobia  is often misdiagnosed as anorexia, due to the sufferers reluctance to eat, due to their fear of vomiting.  The article talked extensively of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and mentioned little or reference to interpersonal therapy, better known as humanistic therapy and the benefits, this form of therapy can offer; the  therapy offered  by Eleos counselling. Recovery from any phobia can be a long process, and often it is the relationship with the therapist that is the real healing factor, not what the therapist does with the client.  As you would see challenging deeply held beliefs is part of the process of therapy and this is borne out of a close relationship which formed between the therapist and their clients.  You will see from below that challenging these in a non-judgement, and empathic way is key to a successful outcome.

Like just about all phobias and phobic disorders, Emetophobia most frequently develops in childhood fear having, by no means, really, ever been outgrown. Perhaps a frightening incident had been witnessed when  young, a person being sick close to them or perhaps on them, it’s possible that they themselves are sick or possibly that they have seen someone else being sick under frightening situations.

When a traumatic scene is witnessed the subconscious mind functions as being the body’s ‘protector’ calculates the simplest way to avoid the episode repeating itself. The way this specific works, in practice, is that the subconscious mind attaches negative feelings or thoughts to nausea or vomiting plus in along with  this specific teaches the person to steer far from this  ‘dangerous’ scenarios. Whilst the subconscious mind is doing all this ‘protection’, your conscious thoughts are desperate trying to work out exactly where this irrational behaviour is coming from.

The episode, which was encountered when young was initially your subconscious mind has construed, mistakenly, a rule that moment and the subconscious is causing the person to still to act like that worried two year old, regardless that she or he is now an adult. Whenever ‘stuff’ happens to all of us whenever we were young, we are relatively short on thinking ability as well as life experience – this deficiency makes us translate situations to the best of our ability together with the minimal information available. 9 times out of 10, this kind of understanding is incorrect, however ,because of the conscious mind’s  has issues accessing  the subconscious, it cannot determine the reason why you react to certain occasions within an illogical way.


If you would like to know more of this type of therapy that Eleos counselling offers then please visit our  website by clicking the link below.




Outsmart Road Rage

stresssed man road rage


Incidences of road rage  have become more prevalent in the UK. Many people found guilty of such offenses, often face a custodial sentence or in some extreme cases end up in prison.

In the past, what is now commonly known as “road rage”, was a comparatively rare on British roads. Nevertheless, since the 1990’s, aggressive driving has increasingly hit the headlines and there has been several high-profile cases in which people have lost their lives, due to these incidents turning into violence and assault.

Much research has been done on the cause of road rage, as it is a useful benchmark to measure modern attitudes to anger and the causes of anger.

It is strongly suspected that the rate of road rage is much higher than reported, as many people do not want to admit they get angry at all. Moreover, many might consider incidences of road rage as part of modern day driving.

It is not surprising that the incidences of road rage are higher in the male population, rising sharply in young men.

The anatomy of road rage

For illustration, we will be using a hypothetical incident of road rage; but this will sound familiar to you. Steve a salesman for a large IT company, he is late for a meeting, with an important customer. Unfortunately, it is Monday morning and Steve gets caught in heavy traffic on the motorway. Steve goes to pull off for his junction, at this moment He has undertaken by a driver, who cuts off. Steve slams on the brakes and slams on the   horn and is quite shaken up by this incident, as he pulls up to a roundabout, he sees a driver of the car. Steve winds down his window to talk to him. This starts a verbal altercation. Steve gets out of the car in a rage and hits the other driver, as he sits in his car. Unfortunately, a police patrol car is it the same roundabout and Steve is arrested  for assault.

What has gone wrong? Here is how Steve reaction has fired up some primitive responses, which is commonly known as the three spheres, or primal reactions.

  • Resources
  • Residents
  • Relationship

The next time you are cut up like Steve, you will have the knowledge you need to stop these primal responses. Neuroscientists would tell you that Steve reaction is grounded in the primitive limbic system, the brain. The limbic system is for controlling survival responses, its perceived threat, but only if certain factors are in place. In the case Steve, He saw the motorway as a limited resource, and the other driver stopping  him getting to work, effectively stopping him   maintaining his residence,  and potentially being humiliated, or shamed in front of other drivers, or contribute to this, which is part of the relationship response.


Unfortunately, what happened to Steve happens to a lot of us. We believe we have anonymity as a driver, but this is a perception which is not real. Like the cyberspace, text messaging and even voicemail, anonymity is not benign. What is missing from this scenario? Steve could not see the face of the other driver. Seeing the face of the other person, you have an issue with plays a vital part in moderating your anger. Unfortunately, Steve is sitting in a machine and is lacking that vital information. Fundamentally, he lacks proper  a relational component of direct human,  his primal responses kicked in, because of the  lack of information and his anger when unchecked.

What happened to Steve, can happen to you. One of the steps you can take is to notice how long it takes for you to get angry. Furthermore, notice how long it takes other people to get frustrated, angry with you. Asking yourself why they became frustrated keeping this question in mind will help you recognise rage and anger.

If you  or someone you know, has  a problem with anger and would like to talk to someone about this then Eleos counselling offer and unique succession anger management course. Just click on the link below





Internet Addiction

eleoscounselling,internet_addictionCan somebody be addicted to the Internet?

Being online has become part of everyday life, for lots of households in the UK. Most people are able to control the time they spend in cyberspace, others can become pre-occupied with the Internet and are unable to control the time they spend online,  which can certainly lead to problems for some people. Like any form of repeated behaviour, such as gambling, exercise, and shopping, the Internet can become addictive.  The brain can become the psychologically addicted, or neuroadapted. Effectively, the brain becomes wired to accept a certain kind of stimulus and when it doesn’t receive that stimulus it goes looking for it. For some, escaping into cyberspace, when life becomes too difficult for them, or they have to deal with difficult situations or emotions has become a way of life. Below are some of the symptoms which can be, warning signs that a person has become cyber dependent.  Excessive time online, can also be a coping strategy to deal with life’s difficulties, if this is a sole coping strategy it can leave one feeling isolated and alone. Furthermore, contribute to a dependency on its use.

Warning signs of Internet addiction

  • Finding yourself losing track of time whilst online
  • Experiencing mixed emotions which may include a sense of well-being or guilt/ whilst online.
  • Favouring online activities to spending time with your family and friends
  • Unsuccessfully attempting to curtail your online use.
  • Feeling irritable and depressed when you are away from your computer all the time spent has been interrupted.
  • Using your computer to deal with negative feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt and shame.

Excessive time online can cause physical discomfort and pain, mainly because you are sitting among place for a great deal of time. There are some of the physical difficulties, one can have from excessive Internet use.

  • Pains or numbness in your hands that can spread to the wrists, elbows and shoulders. This can be the beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome.
  • Pains in your back or neck
  • Irritable or dry eyes or eyestrain
  • Severe headaches
  • Disturbed sleep

Recognising you or someone close to you has a problem

The first and most important step in treating any form of dependency, including Internet addiction, is recognising that there is a problem. It is normal for an individual to deny they have a dependency, but if the cost of online use outweighs any benefit. There is a need for some form of treatment.


Eleos counselling has many years helping people overcome addictions. If you would like to know more you can click on the link below and it will take you to a more comprehensive page on addictions.




Psychotherapy/ Counselling can help young people who Self Harm




An article in the Huffington Post highlighted the rise in the UK of young people, self harming. Although schools are wary of this, there is a real need for more school counsellors to help young people who are self harming.  Furthermore, there is a real need for counsellors to be trained in working with young people who self harm.

Self harming can be very distressing, especially in a young person, and is often bewildering behaviour for families who often cannot understand why the young person is doing this.  Self harming, Is often seen as a coping mechanism, and for some, is the only way to deal with unpleasant or uncontrollable thoughts, and emotions such as anger, shame and guilt.

Often a person who self harm report feeling better immediately after they have had an episode. People who self harm often describe themselves experiencing relief, and a sense of control, or euphoria. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last and the feelings of shame and self-loathing soon return and the negative cycle begins again.

According to the  Huffington Post levels of self harming  in young people is rising this may be due to, the stigma reducing and those who would not have come forward, historically, and now seeking help.

Self harm or self injury is often regarded as a teenage activity. In fact, although it does tend to be highlighted, in younger people. Self harming can continue into adulthood.

Typically, the media, portray young females as a prominent demographic, who self harm, actually, the number young boys who now self harm rising, alarmingly.

Counselling and psychotherapy can help, this gives the person who is self harming a sounding board to talk about their feelings, and  simply talking issues which are going on for you can often make be enough. Talking to someone who is not emotionally invested, and is empathic, in a confidential environment, is often the first step to recovery from Self harm, as a person feels they have space to talk about what is really bothering them.

If you would like to talk to somebody about self harm then Eleos counselling has many years experience helping client’s like you in  Crawley, Horley and Redhill, and Horsham area of West Sussex, UK.

If you would like to know more, click on the link below and we are taken to the Eleos counselling website.


Survey Reveals Families do not spend enough time together

A recent survey conducted, suggests that In the UK, the average family spends only half an hour of quality time together, during the week. On the weekend, the time spent together goes up to about an hour and 20 minutes, on both Saturday and Sunday.

family life

Family life

56% of the people surveyed said that they book a holiday for no other reason than to spend time with their family.

The reason we are not spending so much time together various from “the kids are at an age that they don’t really want to spend time with us.” To working anti social hours” what this means is that families are not contacting. Humans, by our very nature are gregarious, we long for social connection. The rise of Facebook and other social media’s would tell us people want to talk and be listened to by other’s chance to tell their story. Obviously lots of things can distract us our I Pad’s, our emails, parents working and after-school activities. The downside of this is that many families struggle to connect and spend time together and enjoy each other.

With reference to the survey, 50% of those asked admitted the only real time they spend together is when they’re away on holiday.  Often holidays can be a time of great stress for people and it could be that we don’t see ourselves in the best light, particularly when we have to deal with airport queues, et cetera.

Could it be that we switch off the television, and simply eat together as often these times when families feel really connected to each other.


If your family is going through a crisis, then Eleos counselling can help, you can book an assessment appointment by clicking the link below

Eleos web site 


Men’s Mental Health



Homeless man, Male Mental Health Over the last few days social media have highlighted the case of a homeless man from Kent, who froze to death on the patio of a disused property. The coroner’s inquest stated that the man has suffered from mental health problems, such as depression, which had been exasperated by problem drinking.

Reading the report was indeed sobering, as this is one more example of a man that could have possibly been helped. We are told, traditionally, men are reluctant to seek any form of help and often have higher levels of isolation; rates of drug and alcohol misuse, furthermore, homelessness is greater for men, than women. Males are more likely to be involved in the justice system because of antisocial behaviour. Indeed, when men are jailed for there he may be incarcerated with other men who have themselves mental health problems, in fact, 90% of all male prisoners have a mental health problem(Unknown, 2015) and 70% having what is called  a comorbidity, that is, having two or more mental health problems

Men often looked at as the bad boys, portrayed as perpetrators and villains, it could be said that the justice system is to focus on externalising behaviour, often exasperated by alcohol abuse, such behaviour, is often responded to harshly.

For some, it is hard to see men as vulnerable; nevertheless, men often experience physical and sexual abuse and are victims of domestic violence; although statistically, this number is small compared to women the shame of coming forward and talking about this could be something to do with the low numbers.

I society often sees being a man is a positive advantage, that maybe for some, if you’re young, wealthy, whites, middle-class, what happens if you sit outside these parameters. If you’re old; some statistics say this is over 50, black or ethnic, and not in the top bracket of earnings.

Even if you are in this advantageous group that doesn’t make you invulnerable, even this group suffers adversity and psychological difficulties such as breakdown of relationships, substance misuse, and physical elements. Men often seen as protectors, and sent, as last year’s World War One commemorations remind us, at a young age to fight war’s.

Indeed, looking at the coroner’s report regarding this individual, we find out that he too had a family and people who loved him, but somehow fell through the net.

So where is all this leading, having a more empathic understanding of male mental health problems men can experience, should be paramount.  It would take a generation to change this, but it could be changed.






Unknown. (2015). Mental health statistics: prison.   Retrieved 2nd January 2015, 2015, from http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-statistics/prisons/