Do get angry:it can be good for you!

Anger, is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured.”
― Mark Twain


Do get angry:it can be good for you!







What are the benefits of getting angry?

Scientists at Harvard University have recently published research, citing the benefits of anger. In principle they agree with Mark Twain in as much as there are definitely negative effects of anger, but conversely, there are also positives attribute gained from getting angry.

The Harvard university study, that gathered information on emotions of almost 1000 people, nine days after the 9/11 terrorist attack, and came to the conclusion that those interviewed who felt outrage and angered, by the terrorist attack, felt more optimistic about the future, than those who expressed fear of more terrorism. In this context, anger is seen as a positive, inasmuch as, it unites people under a common cause in this case feeling outraged at the terrorist attack. Male participants of the study were shown to have more anger than women, but again were generally found to be more optimistic.

The research found that media coverage of the terrorist attack was reported from a standpoint that would make people angry, and thus less afraid of being hurt by another terrorist attack.

How anger affects   your well-being

Psychologist working at the University of California, Berkeley Dr Brett Ford, whilst studying anger responses in the laboratory found that if research participant was made angry, rather than stress and anxious, they showed a lower biological response, in terms of blood pressure and levels of stress hormones. Ford’s research was added to by Dr Maya Tamir, at the University of Jerusalem. Her findings found that people who tend to feel angry rather than happy, when confronting, someone in a stressful situation, tend to have a higher well-being.

Tamir’s, research revealed that participants who got angry, generally had a higher emotional intelligence; this is counterintuitive to what one would naturally think.

How getting angry  can activate change.

Anger can be looked as a positive force if one considers people such as Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. A good example of this is Rosa Parks, who was ordered to give up her seat in a coloured section of the bus she was riding on  in Montgomery, Alabama, by the bus driver, in order to give it to a white person, because a segregated seating on the bus in the white area was full. Refusing to obey the driver she was arrested. Thus giving birth to the Montgomery bus boycott, which became a symbol of the modern human rights movement. If Rosa Parks had not become angry this may not have happened.




Anger in children and young adults : knowing anger

angry teenager_Eleos counselling


It would be right to say that most adults have angry feelings, these are normal reactions to when things which frustrate us when things go wrong, or people feel an injustice has been done to them. Children, young people express these feelings in different ways.

In a young toddler or young child, frustration and anger is often expressed by  tantrums, when they don’t get what they feel they should or get their own way. They can hit, scream, throw things and often destroy possessions. This is their way of saying they don’t like the emotions or feelings they have, and struggling to express these words. Consequently, their behaviours express their anger and frustration.

In teenagers anger can be expressed by being defiant and refusing to keep house rules. A teenager will often push against boundaries to increase their own independence or sense of self.

Young adults and children can often convey their anger by shouting, refusing to do what they’re told. Furthermore,  a disturbing behaviour, Parents often witnessed or objects of is  when a child starts to hit them or hurt them, often using spiteful words, which  often cuts to the quick.

Young person or child could have many reasons for express their anger inappropriately, including the following:

  • Struggling to come to terms with hormonal changes during puberty.
  • Divorce or separation in parents.
  • Sibling rivalry or jealousy towards a brother or sister.
  • The feeling of rejection by parents or close family.
  • Witnessing domestic violence.
  • Being  accepted into  a friendship group or having problems, relationship  difficulties within that group.
  • Feeling powerless through being bullied or hurt.
  • Struggling to cope with schoolwork, academic workload.
  • Having to be a carer will look after parents or relatives.
  • Breakup in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend

Anger is a normal part of being human, but for some children, or young adult’s  anger is often expressed inappropriately.  Parents, grandparents, or adults close to the  young people, young adults, often feel walking on egg shells and will often placate behaviours, rather than deal with them head-on.

At Eleos counselling is   developing an anger management program for young people. Unlike most programs  the Eleos counselling program is educational and fun for the young person to engage with. This course will be run groups, and rather seeing this as a punishment the young person, see this as an opportunity to find out how to express his or her anger. If you would like to know more, please go is the homepage and from there you will find our contact details,or click the link below annual be taken to the Eleos counselling website



Manage your Anger at Christmas

As we move towards at Christmas 2014 it would be a good time to look at what happens when we are hot housed with relations over Christmas. The fact is that most was the lead busy lives and Christmas can be a time for catching up with friends and family, but can also be a time of great stress. Not only is there more financial stress, but there is the annual problem of what to say to Auntie Doris, who seems to have an opinion about everything.

I won’t be going into how to save money, but rather how to save relationships. In the last quarter of 2013 there was a 15.5% rise in the victim’s suffering domestic violence, a comment made by police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, who said that Christmas could be linked with an increasing domestic violence: in Christmas 2013 violent injury as a whole raised by 5.4% compared with the same quarter in 2012. Another comment made by Sandra Horley, Chief Executive domestic violence charity Refuge said that domestic violence has risen because of secrecy and no one knows the true extent he just how much domestic violence takes place in the UK.

So, on a whole Christmas is a time when anger often rears its ugly head for some people. Below are 5 tips on how to keep your anger at bay over Christmas.108126336

  1. Try using “I” statements : when you become upset. Owning what you’re feeling is a powerful way of transmitting to others just how upset you are. Instead of using  “accusation of statements” such as “you should not of done that”, “You make me feel” owning your own feelings with “ I” statements can help others understand just how upset you actually are.
  2. Changing the environment: if you always have Christmas lunch in the same environment, such as your family, home, and it always seems to be a row over lunch, changing the environment can sometimes help to calm tempers: The thought here is we don’t how environment were on their best behaviour.
  3. Watch how much you drink: mixing alcohol with frustration will often lead to angry outbursts. Alcohol is depressants, therefore it suppresses self-regulation. Saying how you feel under the influence is sometimes a recipe for disaster. So maybe try things like mocktales (nonalcoholic cocktails) to help lower the alcohol consumed: There’s a link to this at the bottom of the page.
  4. Remove yourself in a when things get tough: removing yourself from a difficult situation is often the best way of suppressing your frustration. Taking a walk before Christmas lunch is often the best way of increasing your endorphins, this will have a calming effect on your body.
  5. Don’t overspend: overspending can cause all sorts of problems, not only at Christmas. Sticking to a budget will often help your frustration levels long-term, also stop those nasty credit card bills in the New Year.