Tag Anger management

What are young people saying when they are angry?

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It would be right to say that most adults have angry feelings, theseangry teenager_Eleos counselling are normal reactions to when things which frustrate us when things go wrong, or people feel an injustice has been done to them. Children, young people express these feelings in different ways.

In a young toddler or young child, frustration and anger are often expressed by having tantrums, when they don’t get what they feel they should or get their own way. They can hit, scream, throw things and often destroy possessions. This is their way of saying they don’t like the emotions or feelings they have, and struggling to express these words. Consequently, their behaviours express their anger and frustration.

In teenagers anger can be expressed by being defiant and refusing to keep house rules. A teenager will often push against boundaries to increase their own independence or sense of self.

Young adults and children can often convey their anger by shouting, refusing to do what they’re told. Furthermore,  Parents often witnessed or objects of aggression when a child starts to hit them or hurt them, often using spiteful words, which cuts to the quick.

Young person or child could have many reasons for express their anger inappropriately, including the following:

  • Struggling to come to terms with hormonal changes during puberty.
  • Divorce or separation in parents.
  • Sibling rivalry or jealousy towards a brother or sister.
  • The feeling of rejection by parents or close family.
  • Witnessing domestic violence.
  • Being accepted into a friendship group or having problems, relationship   difficulties within that group.
  • Feeling powerless through being bullied or hurt.
  • Struggling to cope with schoolwork, academic workload.
  • Having to be a carer will look after parents or relatives.
  • Break-up of  a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend

Anger is a normal part of being human, but for some children, or young adult’s  anger is often expressed inappropriately.  Parents, grandparents, or adults close to the  young people, young adults, often feel walking on egg shells and will often placate behaviours, rather than deal with them head-on.

At Eleos counselling we are developing an anger management program for young people. Unlike most programs Eleos counselling program is educational and fun for the young person to engage with. This course will be running groups, and rather seeing this as a punishment the young person, see this as an opportunity to find out how to express his or her anger. If you would like to know more, please go is the homepage and from there you will find our contact details, or click the link below and you will be taken to the Eleos counselling website.

Eleos  Counselling Link

 

 

Anger in children and young adults : knowing anger

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angry teenager_Eleos counselling

 

It would be right to say that most adults have angry feelings, these are normal reactions to when things which frustrate us when things go wrong, or people feel an injustice has been done to them. Children, young people express these feelings in different ways.

In a young toddler or young child, frustration and anger is often expressed by  tantrums, when they don’t get what they feel they should or get their own way. They can hit, scream, throw things and often destroy possessions. This is their way of saying they don’t like the emotions or feelings they have, and struggling to express these words. Consequently, their behaviours express their anger and frustration.

In teenagers anger can be expressed by being defiant and refusing to keep house rules. A teenager will often push against boundaries to increase their own independence or sense of self.

Young adults and children can often convey their anger by shouting, refusing to do what they’re told. Furthermore,  a disturbing behaviour, Parents often witnessed or objects of is  when a child starts to hit them or hurt them, often using spiteful words, which  often cuts to the quick.

Young person or child could have many reasons for express their anger inappropriately, including the following:

  • Struggling to come to terms with hormonal changes during puberty.
  • Divorce or separation in parents.
  • Sibling rivalry or jealousy towards a brother or sister.
  • The feeling of rejection by parents or close family.
  • Witnessing domestic violence.
  • Being  accepted into  a friendship group or having problems, relationship  difficulties within that group.
  • Feeling powerless through being bullied or hurt.
  • Struggling to cope with schoolwork, academic workload.
  • Having to be a carer will look after parents or relatives.
  • Breakup in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend

Anger is a normal part of being human, but for some children, or young adult’s  anger is often expressed inappropriately.  Parents, grandparents, or adults close to the  young people, young adults, often feel walking on egg shells and will often placate behaviours, rather than deal with them head-on.

At Eleos counselling is   developing an anger management program for young people. Unlike most programs  the Eleos counselling program is educational and fun for the young person to engage with. This course will be run groups, and rather seeing this as a punishment the young person, see this as an opportunity to find out how to express his or her anger. If you would like to know more, please go is the homepage and from there you will find our contact details,or click the link below annual be taken to the Eleos counselling website

ELEOS   COUNSELLING LINK

 

Outsmart Road Rage

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stresssed man road rage

 

Incidences of road rage  have become more prevalent in the UK. Many people found guilty of such offenses, often face a custodial sentence or in some extreme cases end up in prison.

In the past, what is now commonly known as “road rage”, was a comparatively rare on British roads. Nevertheless, since the 1990’s, aggressive driving has increasingly hit the headlines and there has been several high-profile cases in which people have lost their lives, due to these incidents turning into violence and assault.

Much research has been done on the cause of road rage, as it is a useful benchmark to measure modern attitudes to anger and the causes of anger.

It is strongly suspected that the rate of road rage is much higher than reported, as many people do not want to admit they get angry at all. Moreover, many might consider incidences of road rage as part of modern day driving.

It is not surprising that the incidences of road rage are higher in the male population, rising sharply in young men.

The anatomy of road rage

For illustration, we will be using a hypothetical incident of road rage; but this will sound familiar to you. Steve a salesman for a large IT company, he is late for a meeting, with an important customer. Unfortunately, it is Monday morning and Steve gets caught in heavy traffic on the motorway. Steve goes to pull off for his junction, at this moment He has undertaken by a driver, who cuts off. Steve slams on the brakes and slams on the   horn and is quite shaken up by this incident, as he pulls up to a roundabout, he sees a driver of the car. Steve winds down his window to talk to him. This starts a verbal altercation. Steve gets out of the car in a rage and hits the other driver, as he sits in his car. Unfortunately, a police patrol car is it the same roundabout and Steve is arrested  for assault.

What has gone wrong? Here is how Steve reaction has fired up some primitive responses, which is commonly known as the three spheres, or primal reactions.

  • Resources
  • Residents
  • Relationship

The next time you are cut up like Steve, you will have the knowledge you need to stop these primal responses. Neuroscientists would tell you that Steve reaction is grounded in the primitive limbic system, the brain. The limbic system is for controlling survival responses, its perceived threat, but only if certain factors are in place. In the case Steve, He saw the motorway as a limited resource, and the other driver stopping  him getting to work, effectively stopping him   maintaining his residence,  and potentially being humiliated, or shamed in front of other drivers, or contribute to this, which is part of the relationship response.

 

Unfortunately, what happened to Steve happens to a lot of us. We believe we have anonymity as a driver, but this is a perception which is not real. Like the cyberspace, text messaging and even voicemail, anonymity is not benign. What is missing from this scenario? Steve could not see the face of the other driver. Seeing the face of the other person, you have an issue with plays a vital part in moderating your anger. Unfortunately, Steve is sitting in a machine and is lacking that vital information. Fundamentally, he lacks proper  a relational component of direct human,  his primal responses kicked in, because of the  lack of information and his anger when unchecked.

What happened to Steve, can happen to you. One of the steps you can take is to notice how long it takes for you to get angry. Furthermore, notice how long it takes other people to get frustrated, angry with you. Asking yourself why they became frustrated keeping this question in mind will help you recognise rage and anger.

If you  or someone you know, has  a problem with anger and would like to talk to someone about this then Eleos counselling offer and unique succession anger management course. Just click on the link below

www.eleoscounselling.com

 

 

 

Manage your Anger at Christmas

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As we move towards at Christmas 2014 it would be a good time to look at what happens when we are hot housed with relations over Christmas. The fact is that most was the lead busy lives and Christmas can be a time for catching up with friends and family, but can also be a time of great stress. Not only is there more financial stress, but there is the annual problem of what to say to Auntie Doris, who seems to have an opinion about everything.

I won’t be going into how to save money, but rather how to save relationships. In the last quarter of 2013 there was a 15.5% rise in the victim’s suffering domestic violence, a comment made by police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, who said that Christmas could be linked with an increasing domestic violence: in Christmas 2013 violent injury as a whole raised by 5.4% compared with the same quarter in 2012. Another comment made by Sandra Horley, Chief Executive domestic violence charity Refuge said that domestic violence has risen because of secrecy and no one knows the true extent he just how much domestic violence takes place in the UK.

So, on a whole Christmas is a time when anger often rears its ugly head for some people. Below are 5 tips on how to keep your anger at bay over Christmas.108126336

  1. Try using “I” statements : when you become upset. Owning what you’re feeling is a powerful way of transmitting to others just how upset you are. Instead of using  “accusation of statements” such as “you should not of done that”, “You make me feel” owning your own feelings with “ I” statements can help others understand just how upset you actually are.
  2. Changing the environment: if you always have Christmas lunch in the same environment, such as your family, home, and it always seems to be a row over lunch, changing the environment can sometimes help to calm tempers: The thought here is we don’t how environment were on their best behaviour.
  3. Watch how much you drink: mixing alcohol with frustration will often lead to angry outbursts. Alcohol is depressants, therefore it suppresses self-regulation. Saying how you feel under the influence is sometimes a recipe for disaster. So maybe try things like mocktales (nonalcoholic cocktails) to help lower the alcohol consumed: There’s a link to this at the bottom of the page.
  4. Remove yourself in a when things get tough: removing yourself from a difficult situation is often the best way of suppressing your frustration. Taking a walk before Christmas lunch is often the best way of increasing your endorphins, this will have a calming effect on your body.
  5. Don’t overspend: overspending can cause all sorts of problems, not only at Christmas. Sticking to a budget will often help your frustration levels long-term, also stop those nasty credit card bills in the New Year.

http://allrecipes.com/recipes/drinks/mocktails/